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Funny Valentine’s day quotes

Funny Valentine’s day quotes and Sayings, Humorous Valentines Day Cards and Quotes – Funny Valentine images and pictures for Love #Funny #ValentinesDay from Top quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position

Husbands are like fires – they go out when they’re left unattended

Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

>>> Love quotes

There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars. – By John Kenneth Galbraith

>>> Happy Valentine’s Day Cards

It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day. – By Jay Leno

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It’s good to know that my Valentine’s Day as a single person is anyway more romantic than married ones.

I promise to vote for any presidential candidate, who promise to forbid Valentine’s Day.

For love for you I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn’t do.

Every man would agree, that 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not sexually conservative way.

>>> Valentine cards

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Love doesn’t have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.

It would be great if Valentine’s Day came with a fast-forward button.

I trust you plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.

I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony was missing a ring.

>>> Valentine quotes for husband

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My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentine’s Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.

I wish my Valentine won’t run on batteries.

Thanks for secretly becoming my Valentine by hearting one of my tweets on Twitter.

I wish your Valentine’s Day celebration get a tone of likes.

>>> Valentine quotes for him

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What’s does my perfect Valentine’s day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.

If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.

>>> Valentine quotes for her

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You’re the best person to spend this annual obligation with.

My only wish today is to run into one of my exes with my new Valentine.

Wish our Valentine’s Day sicken all our single friends.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife

>>> Quotations for St Valentine’s Day

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever…

Valentine’s Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.

I hope you can finish better this Valentine’s Day than the Seattle Seahawks this year.

Please remember that Valentine’s Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!

>>> Dating quotes

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To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight

>>> Sad love quotes that make you cry quotes

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Darling, will you be my player number 2?

To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women it‘s vice versa: love them a lot and don‘t even try to understand them. Happy Valentine’s day!

A recommendation for girls for St. Valentine’s day: if you want to be successful among guys during St. Valentine’s day and lucky afterwards, the only ring you may were during the Day of Love is the contraceptive ring in your vagina.

I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.

>>> I love you quotes

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Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia

Love is a game that two can play and both win. – By Eva Gabor

Love is a grave mental disease. – By Plato

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – By Cathy Carlyle

>>> I love You sayings

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A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!

I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead

>>> Love quotes for her

Funny Valentines day quotes

I‘m only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentine‘s day.

I love you just the way I am

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is

>>> Love quotes for him

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. – By Groucho Marx

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. – By Helen Rowland

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. – By Mickey Rooney

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. – By Thomas Szasz